7th January 2014
by TheRoyalAddict
Summary: The day that changed a group of people's lives forever. Some parts are from the episode 'Self-Control'
1. Chapter 1

'_I've been doing this for twenty six years and one thing I know is we can plan all we like but on the day baby will do what baby wants to do. These tricky births just happen sometimes; there's no rhyme or reason. I can't accept there's a reason for something's; what, when, reason and blame.' _Soothed Jean the midwife at Jac's bedside- the surgeon lost in a world of unknown; her eyes echoed numbness._ 'In the end all that matters is that we loved our children even if they weren't ours for very long' _Any other day Ms Naylor would have question the meaning of the woman's words but today, in that very moment, she couldn't have cared less. In fact, the words helped a small bit to comfort the pained consultant.

Jac sat still for several moments; holding the place which her daughter had occupied less than an hour ago. Deep down something told her it was all over but she refused to give up hope on the one thing she loved in this world. As she looked up there were words she wanted to say to Jean, words that were blocked by a ball of emotion in her throat. For the first time in her life Jac wanted to be comforted. She wanted to be held and reassured.

The quiet atmosphere was shattered by the clattering of doors as a familiar figure burst into the bay. Jonny's eyes spoke words of pure excitement.

'_SHE'S ALIVE!' _he bellowed, desperate to share the news with the mother of his _daughter 'She's alive and Jac she is so tiny and er so beautiful'_ he explained as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. The red-heads face lit up, her face broke into a smile and Jonny leant forward and held her neck whilst he kissed her forehead. The two of them completely absorbed. Past that very second nothing else mattered there and then. They were parents.

* * *

Jonny entered Jac's side room accompanied by Elliot and Mo who clearly couldn't hide their smiles.

'_Congratulations, both of you'_ chattered Mr. Hope hugging Jonny lightly and then making his way over to Jac's bed. _'I'm incredibly proud of you Jac'_ he uttered into her ear before holding her close. He then backed away to the end of the bed and let Mo kiss her colleague on the cheek _'I knew you could do it Naylor!'_

Mo then joined Elliot at the foot of the bed watching the pair sit at ease with each other. The pain in Jac's eyes now more visible than ever. She'd had her moment of happiness and now her mind reverted back to worry as their child's life hung in the balance.

'_Come on Jonny Mac. Tell us all about her!'_ urged his best friend trying to lighten the mood a little.

Jonny's smile widened at the thought of his daughter who was being worked on in NICU _'She's so tiny but beautiful. She's got Jac's er nose-nose and lips, thank goodness. And er she's got this er like wee bit of auburn hair' _he described their baby to the other three. Jac stared into her lap, picturing her in her mind.

'_Ginger'_ the proud mother butted in, recognising the description was so similar to her own hair colour.

'_Ey! And her wee hands are all open' _he continued, opening his hands to show what he meant 'And- and er she's sedated but you can tell that she can see the lamp light. And I'm gonna put that wee piggy Ralph in with her as soon as-as soon as he's been sterilised.' Earlier that day Jac had snapped at the thought of such a trivial item being so important, now she was pleased Jonny had bothered to buy the toy and think ahead _'You know what ever odds or numbers or chances we've got flying around in our heads we've got to stop that. Cos she's gonna do all that she can and-and the team at NICU are donna do all that they can'_

'_I know'_ agreed Jac knowing the NICU team were highly qualified.

'_The great unknown. That's all there is'_ Maconie pointed out, smiling up at Jac. His ex-partner realised he was right. Their daughter's future was out of their control. The surgeon who was normally so in control could do nothing more for her baby girl.

Seeing the pain bite back again Mo broke the _ice 'Hey, do you want some water?'_ as she approached the bedside table. Jac's reply was a simple _'yeah'_ as she fought to keep her emotions inside.

'_Shall we open some of these cards?' _asked Elliot pulling out some cards.

'_Yeah! Let's see who's sent us what'_ he replied eagerly taking hold of the cards and starting to open the envelopes. The first one was decorated with balloons and a banner saying _'CONGRATULATIONS! IT'S A GIRL!' _

'_This one's off Guy and Serena'_ the nurse said, showing the card to a dazed Jac _'That was nice of them, wasn't it?'_

'_Yeah' _Jac pulled open another envelope and slid the card out '_This ones from Sacha' _

Inside was a little poem in Sacha's recognisable handwriting.

'_A new little girl,  
To love beyond measure,  
To add to your life,  
More joys and more pleasure.  
And may each new day  
Hold for baby and you,  
The joyus fulfilment,  
Of dream that comes true!_

Congratulations both.  
Lots of love Uncle Sacha and Daniel  
xxx'

The four of them made small talk as the cards and gifts were opened; things off Mo and Elliot. But all Jac really wanted was to see her daughter properly for the first time. Instead she had to make do with an image Jonny had planted in her head.

* * *

Elliot, a man of very few words, clapped his hands several times to get the attention of the rest of team Darwin.

'_Can I have your attention for just a few moments please'_ Mo stood beside him _'As some of you may know Ms Naylor went into labour earlier on today. After a tricky labour she and Nurse Maconie delivered a baby girl who is now being worked on in NICU. Both Ms Effanga and I ask that your respect their privacy at this incredibly difficult time. I can tell you though that she has the Naylor trademark red-locks'_ he looked around briefly and then turned to walk away to his office with Ms Effanga following him.

Once the door had been closed and the two were in the privacy of the four walls they talked openly.

'_What do you reckon her chances are Elliot?'_

'_It's hard to say. In fact it's impossible but if she's got any of her mother's determination then I hold out a great deal of hope.' _He paused before carrying on_ 'You know, I remember when I first met Jac. She was rude, arrogant, sarcastic-'_

'_Sounds about right' _smiled Mo

'_But what struck me was her dedication to her job. She grew on me and ever since I've viewed her as my daughter. To say I'm incredibly proud of her would be an understatement'_

'_It's weird how things work out. I thought Jac would be my worst enemy but actually she's the strongest woman I have ever met. And I know that baby is the luckiest child to have a mother like Naylor' _ laughed Mo, imagining the child running Jac ragged in later years.

Mr. Hope handed Ms Effanga a small glass of champagne.

'_To Jac, Jonny and Baby Naylor' _he muttered holding his glass up and clinking it with Mo's

'_Baby Naylor!'_ she echoed before downing the liquid after a particularly stressful day.


	2. Chapter 2

As the January sunlight broke through the crack in the blinds of the private side room Jonny stirred in the green armchair. After letting his eyes adjust to his surroundings he remembered where he was. Looking up to the hospital bed it was clear that Jac was still deep in a peaceful slumber. He daren't wake her; she had spent the best part of the night staring into space- impossible to comfort.

The Nurse stepped out of the room quietly, in need of some air. Outside the cocoon of their private bay the normal runnings of the hospital continued, as if the birth of their daughter was an everyday occurrence- which it was. It came as a relief to the Scotsman, a sense of normality.

'_Ah Jonny'_ smiled Mr T as he walked around the corner nearly knocking the new father over 'Morning'

'_Hi'_ he replied shaking the gynaecologist's hand

'_How's Jac?'_

'_Asleep. The whole thing has knocked her for_ six' he explained rubbing his face _'Do you know how our daughter's doing?'_

'_I'm just heading down to check on her actually. Er, you could join me?' _Asked Mr T carefully. Jonny didn't reply, just simply nodded his head and followed the taller male.

The short walk was done in complete silence. It was obvious that even Mr T was nervous about what he may be faced with on his arrival at NICU. On arrival he keyed in the code to enter the secured unit and then used the gel to sterilise his hands; Jonny followed suit.

'_She was moved after you left yesterday so she could be monitored around the clock during the night'_ he pointed over to the right _'If you'd like to follow me'_ Approaching the sterile incubator Jonny immediately recognised the small tuft of hair he'd etched in his mind; making him smile broadly. While he gazed at the tiny baby Mr T consulted with the on-duty nurses; talking figures and statistics.

The baby's positioning had been moved overnight to avoid pressure sores. Her body was still riddled with wiring and tubes enabling her to fight and survive.

'_Hello darling'_ her father whispered _'Aren't you a beautiful wee thing' _

'_Right, I've looked at her charts and spoken with the nurses who have been looking after her.' _Started Mr T. _'Er As-as you know she wasn't breathing on delivery but after some work they managed to even out her stats. She's showing some positive signs at the moment but she's most certainly not out of the woods yet. She's a fighter though, I'll give her that' _the two peered over the glorified box.

'_Just like her mum then, ey?'_ smiled Jonny

'_Absolutely'_ he reassured, placing a hand on Maconie's s back '_Would Jac like to see her?'_

'_I don't know...I think so. Do you-do you think she's ready?'_ he stuttered barely able to answer.

* * *

Nurse Maconie walked back to maternity- a sense of renewed energy filled his body. He still wore the same clothes he had put on the day before; a shower and change of clothes the furthest thought from his mind. He pressed the buzzer to be let in and a new voice replied _'Come on through Jonny'_ his presence on the ward already well noted.

He paused outside the side ward and looked through the window; Jac still lay asleep in the hospital bed. The previous day's activity had clearly worn her out. Jonny crept in quietly and took his place back in the old armchair. He tentatively held onto Jac's hand and looked at her relaxed features. The slight touched stirred the woman from her sleep- immediately her eyes were coloured in pain.

'_Jac...'_ Jonny uttered _'Jac, it's alright. You're in a side ward on maternity'_

'_I know where I am!'_ she replied sharply '_How-how is she? How is she Jonny?'_

'_I've just been with Mr T to see her and she's a wee fighter. She looks so so peaceful, not a sign that she's suffering at all'_ the new mother seemed to relax a little _'Mr T said I can take you to see her today'_

Jac's stalled for a second trying to come up with a believed excuse to get out of the encounter _'There's no need for me to be by her side. I can't do anything for her. I'm no use to_ her' she whispered, her eyes brimming with sharp tears.

'_You mustn't think like that. You're her mother Jac, she needs you to protect her from the world. Believe it or not Naylor; you're a mum now' _His ex-partner smiled a little at realising that she was actually a mum; her daughter was alive.

* * *

Just as he had little more than twenty-four hours ago Jonny eased Jac into a wheelchair. He'd stood outside the room for over an hour whilst she had dressed herself in a spare pair of blue scrubs. From the other side of the door the excited Nurse had heard Ms Naylor quietly crying to herself- it hit him how vulnerable the female was.

'_When I saw her yesterday they had her in the left wing but when Mr T took me down today they'd moved her to the right so she could be watched round the clock during the night'_ babbled Maconie whilst pushing the wheelchair through the corridors of Holby. Jac kept her head down- hating being seen in such a compromising situation. _'She hasn't got any clothes on yet...obviously because of the er tubing and wires. They've done a great job with the incision into her wee stomach'_

For Jac the journey to NICU passed in a blur. Each step closer they came to the ward the faster her heartbeat became, her hands beginning to shake a little. After being let onto the secured ward Jonny stopped in the reception area and bent down in front of Jac.

'_You ready?'_ he asked, looking her in the eyes _'She's just through that door' _he pointed in front of them. The female nodded and took a deep breath, clenching her hands together. Jonny stood back up and walked backwards, pulling the wheelchair into the room. He parked the chair next to the plastic incubator.

'_There she is Jac. There's our daughter'_ The consultant lifted her head and with Jonny's help stood up to take a closer look. Her ex held onto her to ensure she didn't fall. He had been right; she had the same hair as her mother, and her hands were laying palm face-up. The tubing that covered her was extraordinary. Of course this particular Consultant worked on people who were on the brink of death on a daily basis but for such a tiny child to need so much help was painful.

'_Would you-would you like to hold her hand?'_ uttered the father to which there was no response. Instead the male nurse unclipped the small opening and pulled the cover open_. 'There you go Jac. Hold her hand' _reluctantly the red-head slipped her bony hand inside and gently took hold of the tiny hand that lay in front of her, rubbing it with her thumb. It was just about the only part of the girl's body that wasn't hidden underneath medical equipment.

'_Jonny'_ called a familiar voice _'I've got er Ralph? Here'_ laughed Mr T handing over the small baby toy _'He's been sterilized now'_

'_Great'_ Jonny smiled and squeezed his arm past Jac's to place the soft pig in the corner of the casing '_Thanks Mr T' _In respect to their daughter's size, the animal almost certainly seemed gigantic.

'_It's good to see you here, Jac'_ encourage the male gynaecologist '_I know all this must be a shock for you. Your daughter's an impatient madam'_ he wittered before catching a glimpse of Jac's raised eyebrows _'I'll give you some space... I've called an MDT meeting for twelve o'clock tomorrow to discuss where we go from here'_

Once the infuriating man had left the room Jac collapsed back into the wheelchair _'Take me back Jonny!'_ she ordered as he shut the incubator back up.

'_Don't you want to stay a wee bit longer?'_ he questioned, a little taken aback

'_Just take me back!' _she hissed adamantly

* * *

'_I think she's in denial... actually, I'm certain she is!' _ranted Jonny pacing the Darwin office with Mo and Elliot listening _'She's barely spent five minutes with her and even then it was because I wouldn't take no for an answer'_

'_This is all very new for you both Jonny'_ Elliot responded lightly _'The birth didn't go to plan and we all know how much Jac likes to be in control of things'_

'_What the hell am I meant to do?' _he questioned for the second time in a two days 'How am I meant to sort this out?'

'_Just give her the support she needs even if she denies she needs it'_ soothed Mo hugging her best friend _'She needs you more than ever now Jonny. But first you need to go home, get a few hours sleep and a shower'_

'_No-no I need to be here'_

'_Seriously! Go home and come back this evening. You'll feel a whole lot better' _

'_We'll keep an eye on Jac, and the baby' _smiled Elliot to which Jonny headed for the door with his bag.

* * *

'_Mr T!'_ cheered Mo as she entered NICU. He'd spent more time than normal on the unit assessing Baby Naylor

'_Mo!'_ he replied in an equally high-pitched tone _'It's great to see you, again'_

'_Ditto! ... Me and Elliot promised we'd keep an eye on the baby and Jac whilst he went home for a shower' s_he explained her presence

'_Well, baby Naylor-Maconie is just through there. Come with me'_ he signalled taking hold of Mo's hand and leading her through the double doors. He pulled over a stool for Mo to sit on '_You can stay as long as you like. I'm sure she's aware of people's presence'_

'_Be honest with me, how's she doing?'_

'_Honestly? She's alive- that's all we can ask for at the moment. Every hour is a positive step forward though' _he paused, letting the information sink in_ 'I'll be back shortly' _He then backed away and went to find a member of his team about another patient.

Mo sat on the stool taking in every detail of the tiny baby lying inside the incubator. Just as Jonny had done for Jac, she opened the flap on the unit and put her hand in to hold the girls miniscule hand _'Hello there baby Naylor, its Auntie Mo here_' Spoke the woman_ 'I see your daddy's put Ralph in with you. He came running into work with that the day he bought it eager to show us all. Now, Grandad Elliot and I want you keep on fighting for your mum and dad's sake. You got that? If you can do that I'm sure you'll be well and truly spoilt by us all'_

A short distance away Elliot was sat with Jac in her side ward, trying his hardest to get through to her _'I hear you went to see her earlier on today? I bet that was a great feeling? I remember the first time I saw my two; I didn't think it was possible to love somebody so much'_ he rambled, sat in the same chair Jonny had occupied earlier _'What does she look like, Jac?'_

'_Jonny told you yesterday'_ she bluntly replied

'_I know he did, but I want to hear you describe your daughter'_

The pair sat silently for a few moments, Jac going over words in her head '_She's got a small bit of ginger hair, her hands are facing palm up' she _explained before a crack appeared in her voice '_She's so tiny Elliot- so tiny and fragile'_ the Consultant broke down, tears rolling down her cheeks. Mr. Hope climbed onto the bed besides her and wrapped his arms around the skinny woman._ 'Why did this happen to her?...she doesn't deserve any of this!'_ sobbed Jac into his shirt.

'_I know she doesn't but it's happening Jac and we've all just got to deal with it. She needs you Jac. You may not think it but she needs her mum to fight for her' _Elliott rubbed her back as her crying eased _'You're not alone; you've got me, Jonny and Mo. Nothing will change that. And nothing will ever change the fact you're a mother now'_

* * *

Three hours after he had left the hospital Jonny entered again, this time in a fresh set of clothing and a brighter shine in eyes. He greeted members of staff as he walked through the hospital corridors, heading for NICU. From behind he could tell the figure sat at his daughter's side was Mo.

He barged through the doors smiling _'So I see you've met my stunningly beautiful daughter then!'_ chirped the Scotman

_'I have. We said we'd look after them both and that's what we've done. I'm relieved to say she's definitely got her mum's looks'_

_'Hey!' _Jonny joked hugging his best friend_ 'How long have you been here?'_

_'About three hours. I think Elliot's still with Jac'_ she looked at his clean shaven face _'Feeling better now?'_

_'Yeah. You were right. Couple of hours sleep and a warm shower and I feel like a new man!' _

_'Now you listen to me Maconie. Me and Elliot are here for both of you. Whatever you go through, we'll go through as well; as a team. Got it?'_

_'Loud and clear! We're going to get through this Mo' _declared Jonny looking at his daughter _'I'll do whatever I can for the both of them'_


	3. Chapter 3

After a quick diversion to NICU to check on the small infant that had taken on the role of becoming his first granddaughter, Elliot made his way up to Darwin. At half past five on a Friday morning the hospital was seemingly quiet, the corridors yet to be lit up by the overhead ceiling lights. On approaching his office he could make out a glimmer of light through the translucent glass built into the door. Strange he thought- the grey-haired man was almost certain he had turned it off before leaving the evening before. Keying in the code for the shared office the surgeon opened the door and then, after entering, shut it behind him.

'_Jac!'_ he exclaimed, recognising the figure sat at her desk _'What in heaven's name are you doing here?'_

'_Working' _was her blunt reply, not even bothering to look up from the file she was going through

Elliot walked over to his desk, placing his bags on the chair and then turned to face his colleague. _'But you gave birth a matter of days over'_

'_And? The birth of a baby doesn't bring Darwin to a halt. There's still plenty that needs doing'_ she stated the facts sharply _'Mr Barlow in bed six needs a valve replacement today. You're backed up with patients and I've got nothing to do. I'm a surgeon Elliot, it's what I do!'_

'_How is she, your daughter?' _he questioned, trying not to sound intrusive or critical

'_She was fine when I saw her yesterday. They're just trying to keep her stats stable so she can have surgery on Monday '_

'_Would you like me to come with you to see her today?'_ Mr. Hope enquired _'I just popped in to check on her. Everything's looks okay'_

'_I don't think I'll have time today; the ward is the main priority'_

The male could barely believe what he was hearing but it was entirely typical of Jac. She liked to be in complete control; she could control her work but not her daughter's health. Unlike others he refused to argue with her, instead he wanted to support her as much as he could.

'_Okay. That's absolutely fine. I'm sure they'll let know if there's any_ developments' he reasoned, getting out his wallet _'I'm heading to the coffee bar. Can I get you anything?'_

'_Black coffee...please'_

Top of Elliot's list was not the coffee bar, but instead to find Jonny and alert of his Jac's whereabouts. He was no doubt oblivious to her motives otherwise an argument would have erupted far earlier, with Jonny refusing to accept she was ready to be back at work.

Letting himself onto the maternity unit using his NHS card the male made his way to the side room where Jac had spent the past few days hiding. He opened the door to find Jonny slumped in the green armchair as usual, fast asleep. He'd rejected the idea of going home to sleep, arguing that he needed to be with Jac and their child- not on the other side of town.

'_Jonny...'_ he whispered, nudging the young man _'Jonathon' _the male stirred in his chair, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

'_Elliot... what are you doing here?'_ he queried peering at his watch 'And where's Jac?'

'_Well, that's why I'm here. I've just been up to Darwin and I found Jac at her desk working. She's insisting that she'll be performing a valve replacement today' _the concerned gentleman laid the information bare. Jonny instantly stood up, anger in his eyes. The Consultant placed a hand on his shoulder to stop the Nurse from _moving 'Now I know your first instinct is to go barging in demanding she see sense but I fear that won't help matters. Jac won't admit it but I can see she's helpless and at a loss of what to do. For her, working makes her feel as if she's being useful- something she's good at'_

'_And she doesn't think our daughter needs her? She doesn't think that a tiny baby fighting for her life needs her mum?'_ he exclaimed _'I don't know what to do but I'm still here. I haven't gone back to work and dismissed the fact I'm now a parent Elliot!'_

'_Jac needs someone to reason with her not argue or fight against her. She's loves that baby more than we'll ever know. She told me herself when she was in labour.' _He paused wondering whether he should speak the words Jac had told him _'She told me she couldn't imagine life without her now'_

'_She told you that?' _Jonny sat back down in the armchair. _'I know it's hard to bond with a baby that's locked away in an incubator hooked up to machines. I want to hold her more than anything' _

'_I can't even imagine how difficult it is for the two of you. A new life and being able to do nothing but sit and watch' _bargained Mr. Hope sitting on the bed _'A ridiculous statement I know but Jac needs us more than your daughter...at the moment at least. Baby Maconie had a whole team working on her, Jac feels more alone than ever- I can see it _in her eyes Jonny'

* * *

'_Elliot!'_ called Mo as she entered the office half an hour after Mr Hope had left to get coffee, failing to return _'Ah, Jac? What are you doing here?' _

'_Working Maureen!'_ was the red-heads response once again. '_Or at least I'm trying to'_

'_But your daughters fighting for her life in NICU' _Ms Effanga got straight to the point, not thinking of sparing Jac's feelings_ 'And you gave birth three days ago'_

'_Thank you for pointing out the obvious'_ snapped Jac _'Mr Barlow in bed six needs a valve replacement and I'm the only one available'_

'_Are you scared Jac?'_

'_Scared of what exactly?' _was her response _'I'm a grown woman, the best surgeon for miles and I have a powerful job...do I really need to remind you of the facts?'_

'_Of what's going on around you! Your baby has CDH!_' exclaimed Mo, failing to keep her temper in check _'And you're hardly in any position to be performing major surgery on a dangerously ill man!'_

'_I'll be the judge of that'_

'_Have you even been to see her today?'_ an awkward silence followed. The dark haired woman walked over to Jac and stood besides the desk _'A baby knows when it's been rejected Jac...remember you said those very words to me after William was born'_

Ms Naylor briefly thought back to that day, fighting to keep her emotions in tack_ 'She's not being rejected! Darwin needs me, she doesn't. That's all there is to it'_

'_Whether you like it or not we're all behind you- all three of you. And dare I say it, we're as scared as you are.' _Reassured the visibly larger woman. _'It's okay to be scared of the unknown. But she needs you Jac- just as much as you need her!'_

* * *

'_I get it Jac!' _bellowed Jonny barging into Jac's office which was only occupied by her _'I get it!' _

'_I'm sorry?'_ she probed

'_I'm just as scared as you are. I'm scared of getting attached to our daughter in case she plays no part in our future. I'm scared each time my phone rings that something has happened to her. I'm scared because I don't know what the future holds'_ he declared to his ex-partner _'And I wish there was something I could do for her...but there isn't!'_

'_Who said I was scared?'_ the surgeon fought back

'_It's written all over you Jac. I can see the fear in your eyes'_ he asserted _'And I know you can't imagine life without her now...and er you know what, neither can I'_

'_Elliot, I should have guessed!' _She sarcastically replied guessing the professor has repeated what she had said to him 'If our daughter's that important to you, why aren't you with her now?'

'_Because-because believe it or not you're important to me as well. _I know this isn't an ideal situation, us not being together but I care about you Jac' explained Maconie _'I care about what you're going through. I know you want to work. I get that, I get that it's what you're good at. But at least come with me down to NICU later and spend some time with her. She's changing a little bit every day'_

'_Maybe'_

* * *

The devoted father sat next to his daughter's incubator, watching her chest rise and fall with each ventilated breath. Somehow she looked bigger than she had when she was born. He was sure she had grown, even if it was just a little. In the other NICU wing several incubators were surrounded by family relatives trying to spend as much time as they could with their seriously ill newborns. He was the only parent to be alone with no mother present.

'_I've been to see your mummy today'_ he whispered, holding onto the baby's hand _'And Granddad Elliot was asking after you.. And Aunty Mo'_

The bang of the door behind him disturbed the moment. Turning around he noted Jac had entered the wing and was heading towards the pair of them _'Hey look, mummy's here'_ added Jonny. Jac paused several feet away from the incubator.

'_I can't do this Jonny...'_ she muttered, a tear falling down her cheek before struggling out of the room again and leaving the ward.

'_JAC!'_ Jonny shouted after her, torn between the mother of his daughter and his poorly baby.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though the Scotsman was a little bewildered and felt well out of his depth he knew Elliot was right; Jac needed their support not people fighting against her. Although she couldn't face seeing her daughter the Consultant had decided to keep the private room to be close to the newborn and it meant Jonny had somewhere relatively close to sleep.

It was dark outside, and the ward lay quiet. Jonny had fallen asleep hours beforehand having spent the evening with their daughter, deciding to let the new mum calm down alone. He'd eventually dragged himself away from NICU, back to the private ward and surprisingly found Jac occupying the hospital bed once again.

'_She needs a name'_ muttered Jac to herself before raising her voice and shaking her ex-partner a little 'Jonny! She needs a name!'

'_What? What's going on?'_ he replied, woken from his peaceful sleep _'What's wrong Jac?'_ he questioned, sitting forward in the chair.

'_She needs a name'_ the red haired woman repeated again

'_Who needs a name?'_ he queried the incoherent ramblings.

'_The baby. She needs a name'_ she replied bluntly. '_She hasn't got a name'_

'_I know she hasn't' _comforted Jonny, not bothering to mention to ridiculous time. Instead trying to fulfil Jac's difficult needs _'Have you thought of any?'_

'_No, but she needs a name. A baby has to have a name'_

'_You're right. She deserves a name' _he laughed slightly _'We can't keep referring to her as Baby Naylor'_

'_Emma'_

'_Pardon?'_

'_Emma'_

'_Emma Naylor?'_ questioned the Nurse, thinking about the name for a while- completely oblivious to the fact he had just given their child her mother's surname '_Yeah, Emma Naylor has a ring to it'_

No sooner had Jac woken Jonny up had she laid her head back down on the pillow and shut her eyes. Jonny couldn't help but worry about the mother of his child; for her mental state at least. He stared at her tired body, wondering how things had got to this stage. But a name for their baby daughter was a start. Baby steps and the great unknown.

* * *

'_She has a name!'_ cheered Jonny as he entered NICU the next morning _'My daughter has a name!'_

'_She has indeed'_ smiled one of the Nurses _'Emma Naylor, we believe?'_

'_How'd you_ _know?_' he asked puzzled, heading for his daughter's incubator.

'_Ms Naylor came down herself, first thing this morning...actually it hadn't long turned five'_

'_Did she go and see Emma? Did she sit with her?'_

'_Sadly not'_ uttered the woman. It hadn't gone unnoticed the clear struggle Jac was having bonding with the baby _'But a name's a start. It's an encouraging move at least'_

The small nurse left Jonny to be with his child. _'Hello Emma' _he whispered opening the incubator flap '_How'd ya like that then? Emma Naylor? Mummy picked it_ herself' The male noted the hospital band on her leg had been changed, a new one had replaced it complete with her name. _'It's a good strong name for a beautiful girl...I can already hear your mum shouting it now' _he paused, smiling to himself _'Emma go and tidy your room! Emma do your homework!'_

'_Jonny!' _called an approaching voice _'I see we have a name for Baby Naylor-Maconie now'_

'_Yeah. Jac woke me in the middle of the night panicking about her being nameless' _

'_How is Jac?_' enquired the male gynaecologist.

'_Y'know...tired...working. I don't know really. My main focus is on baby Emma here. I'm trying. I'm really trying' _

'_It's obvious she's er struggling to er bond with your young madam'_ he continued _'All of us are well aware of it. And it was to be expected, you know that? The pregnancy and delivery was hugely traumatic for you both'_

'_I know-I know but I don't want her to waste a single second away from our daughter' _his voice trailed off a bit _'What happens if she doesn't make it through the surgery? I know Jac'll live to regret it'_

'_We're going to do all we can to get Emma through it. It's a slow process on both counts. I've got a few ideas up my sleeve to help Jac, leave it with me' _he supported the man through words, smiled and then walked off.

'_Hey. We'll get mummy down here soon, I promise'_ uttered Jonny to his daughter _'And then she'll see what she's missing out on'_

* * *

A knock on the door broke Jac's trail of thought _'Come in!_' she called. The door opened to reveal Mr T he stepped into the room, shutting the door after him. 'What do you want?' she questioned.

'_I was just passing and thought I'd come and check on you'_ he explained, standing in the corner, afraid of the consultant _'How are you Jac?'_

'_Fine'_ she replied, looking back at her computer screen _'Anything else?'_

'_I like the name Emma. Emma Naylor. Great pick._' Commented the male in short sentences '_Have you been to see her today?'_

'_No; far too busy to leave Darwin'_

'_Right... well I'll just quickly fill you in on her progress.' _he insisted '_Stats are stable and looking fairly positive. She's still sedated and ventilated... obviously. As you know she's having the first part of her surgery on Monday'_

'_Thank you' _forced the red-head

'_Okay...Well, I'll see you on NICU later' _he pushed the topic before walking out sharply. Jac leant back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. Her body still ached, her lower stomach painful from the raw surgery scar. Opening her drawer she pulled out an ultrasound scan; the foetus was just about visible. Back when it had been taken Jac had allowed herself split seconds here and there to imagine life as a mother with her child; before she had been diagnosed with CDH. Now she was essentially a mother without her child; or at least that's what it felt like.

* * *

'_Someone's cheery!'_ laughed Mo , noting Elliot's happy exterior- knowing full well why '_Any particular reason?'_

'_My granddaughter has a name Mo. I couldn't be happier!' _replied Mr Hope out of earshot of Jac _'It somehow makes her presence far more real'_

'_Absolutely. Although it didn't strike me as a name the two of them would pick'_ she reasoned

'_Emma Naylor. It's simplistic, short and snappy._' He explained

'_And it means whole or universal. Whichever one you want to choose'_ interrupted Jac, entering the office.

'_Jac...'_ muttered Ms Effanga, swiftly looking at Elliot. The surgeon gave the bubbly woman a recognised stare to which she acted immediately and exited the office.

'_Jac, we were just saying how well Emma suits her name' _

Jac collapsed in her office chair, fiddling with her fingers _'She doesn't suit anything Elliot. She's a seriously ill baby trapped in an incubator with a machine breathing for her._' The red haired woman took a deep sigh before carrying on _'For all it's worth she could have remained as Baby Naylor but she needed a name'_

'_I was going to pop down in a while and see her- give Jonny a break' gently_ pushed Elliot '_How about you come with me? We could go together?'_

'_I don't think so. I haven't got any time to even think about grabbing a coffee let alone trekking down to NICU'_

'_We'll make time Jac'_ insisted the grey haired male _'I'm sure Mo will happily keep an eye on your patients. If you're needed back on the ward she'll page you'_

All Jac could do was stare at Elliot- her well known death stare. But the eyes made no difference to her former mentor. He could see through the ice-cold the exterior to the pain etched beneath.

* * *

Along the journey which had become so familiar to the four professionals from Darwin, Elliot greeted numerous people with his usual warm words. Jac lagged behind, trying to delay each step she made. It had taken barely any persuasion to get Ms Naylor to accompany the aging man- not wanting to fight or seem ungrateful. Using his pass as normal, Elliot let himself onto NICU and then held the door open waiting for Jac to catch up.

'_I'll just go and get two chairs from over there'_ he whispered whilst Jac stood staring at the tiny infant under all the wiring. Placing a chair behind the woman she eased herself into it carefully; still sore from her emergency C-section. He then placed a chair next to her and sat down.

'_Where's Jonny?'_ questioned Jac

'_Mo sent him home to get some rest. He's been keeping a bed side vigil for most of the day'_

'_Unlike me' _She retorted quietly

'_Jac you mustn't think like that. You kept her safe for nine months and then gave birth to her' _soothed the caring gentleman in his recognisable low voice_. 'If she was anyone else's child her chances of survival would have been far slimmer. She survived because of you'_

'_Now there's nothing I can do' _grumbled Jac _'Her future is out of my control Elliot'_

'_Sitting with her is enough. Emma recognises your voice Jac, she knows you're here- you of all people know that' _he explained '_As a surgeon there's nothing you can do but as a mother your role is endless'_

'_So come on then Elliot, what would you do if you were me!?' _she questioned, her voice raised.

'_I'd enjoy every single precious moment I could with her. She's fought this far, the least you could do is make memories with her'_ he suggested _'Emma won't remember them, of course, but you will Jac'_ Elliot pulled his hand away from the small infant's hand and nestled back into the chair behind him. After a handful of silence Jac lifted her tired body off the chair and stepped closer to her daughter. Emma lay in what can only be described as a clear tray, slightly tilted, her body covered in wires and her breathing still fully controlled by a machine.

Naylor leant over slightly, careful of her stitched incision on her abdomen. For the first time she touched her daughter, stroking her small tuff of hair backwards before gently clinging onto the bare tiny hand. Elliot sat back and watched, a small smile creeping across her face.

Maybe he was right. Maybe nothing else mattered apart from the here and now. No amount of work Jac did could replace every second she spent with her seriously ill daughter.


	5. Chapter 5

**MOST BITS TAKEN FROM 'LIFE AFTER LIFE.'**

**Please review. Makes writing worthwhile.**

Jac sat outside theatre situated in NICU, thoughts racing through her mind. Jonny slipped out of the room in which their daughter laid, leaning against the doorway and watching the Consultant. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and hold her close. He wanted to whisper words of understanding but instead, and rightly so, he stayed stuck to the spot.

The bang of distant doors could be heard to which Ms Naylor lifted her head and stood up, barely bothering to greet the Doctor. She walked at his speed down the corridor jutting out her desperate words.

'_I've assessed the patient and thoroughly reviewed her notes both pre and post delivery. Oxygen levels are good. Cardiac output is adequate. She's well within the premises of which is considered safe to go ahead with the corrective surgery.' _Crossing her arms the female made it clear she meant business. Jonny did his very best to ignore the fact she had referred to their daughter as 'the patient.'

Mr Solis humoured the women; investigating deeper and querying her words _'And do you think that would be best for the baby, to go ahead with the surgery?' _Without stopping to think she opened her mouth again, as if she had planned the whole speech from start to finish.

_I do. At this point more time won't increase the likely hood of a positive outcome bu any significant margin. The patient has survived the most critical point and can't improve further without the procedure, so why wait?' _the question wasn't meant for answering but instead to state a fact that Jac was in fact right.

'_You're right. I agree. She's ready. If there's a theatre ready I'd like to do the corrective surgery today' _a nearly invisible smile graced the red-heads lips; she was right. Jonny too looked beyond happy- his jaw falling open.

'_That's fantastic news. Thank you. Thank you very much' _the proud father laughed shaking the surgeons hand and following him through the double doors.

* * *

After leaving his ex-partner to marvel over their daughter Jac had gone back to the ward to complete her first theatre slot since giving birth. She had failed to admit how much she loved their child, instead deciding her patients needed her skills far more. Jonny was bemused by her approach to the situation they found themselves in. He wanted to hold the woman down and shout that their daughter may die, but he didn't have the heart. Instead he had nipped up to Professor Hope's office, avoiding Jac and spoke to him briefly.

'_Hi...'_ he spoke entering the room

'_Ah Jonny, it's good to see you!'_ greeted the professor welcoming the man in _'How are things?'_

'_Not great. Emma's surgery is going ahead_ today' he explained, leaning against the wall _'And Jac's just left her'_

'_Does she know?' _The older male questioned

'_She was there. She was the one who insisted Emma was well enough for the corrective surgery to take place'_ Maconie used his hands to signal the frustration he felt _'What am I supposed to do Elliot? How am I supposed to make her spend time with our daughter before her surgery?'_

'_Leave it with me' _nodded the Consultant. '_You concentrate on Emma and I'll sort Jac out'_

Jonny lowered his head and made his way to the door. _'Jonny...She'll be fine. She's a fighter.' _uttered Hope regarding the baby. After several moments of thinking Elliot too exited the office, making his way to find his female colleague. Turning round the corner he bumped into her.

'_Jac, can we just go over the transplant facts?'_

'_Sure'_ she replied walking with him

'_I've booked theatre for half past one'_ he instructed.

'_Okay, that gives us time to sort out the paperwork and the parents'_

'_I will er head up the retrieval team'_

'_And you'll harvest from both parents or shall we call in a third surgeon?_' she questioned, feeling a little vague about the facts.

'_No I'm happy to do both' _the details span around his head working out the precise time each operation should take himself '_ er by the time er you've attached the first love I should be ready with the second'_

'_Good'_ the thought of the operation being an intimate and procedure pleased the woman, meaning she could take more _credit 'What is it Elliot? If you think I've pushed Robbie into this somehow-'_

'_No-no not at all'_ he jumped in trying to justify their actions _'Helping someone change their mind isn't the same as pressuring them'_

'_And yet you have your pensive face on' _declared Jac studying his face

'_Yes'_

'_Your "I'm about to say something" profound_ face' she continued, crossing her arms

'_Well erm I don't know if it's profound but erm necessary' _the Professor fiddled with his hands, dodging the females sharp eyes.

'_Well go on then get it over with' _

'_I heard a rumour that they're doing Emma's corrective surgery today at four o'clock'_

'_A rumour?' _Her eyes narrowed

'Jonny might have mentioned it'

'_I bet he did!'_

'_I can't help feeling that your place is with Emma'_ braved the aging fella

'_My place?!'_ repeated Jac angrily

'_Look, I have several very good surgeons on speed dial. I'm sure Robbie would understand'_

Jac was well aware of her status, power and skill _'He was promised the best. I'm not going to rope in a substitute at the last minute. What are you trying to do here Elliot; help me to change my mind or pressure me? I can't tell!'_

'_I'll see you in surgery' he _muttered swiftly before walking off

'_Count on it!' _the woman shouted behind him, and all the time they'd had such a personal conversation in the middle of the corridor. Of course the new mother knew he was right but she would use any excuse to avoid the harsh reality that the three of them faced.

* * *

To distract herself from the truth Ms Naylor had surrounded herself with work, rushing to get the paperwork sorted for Robbie's transplant case. Any other time she would have left it to the Nurses to sort out, but this gave her a reason to be in Darwin. At half past one on the dot she was in the wash room scrubbing up ready to perform the longed for operation. Elliot barged through the doors of her surgery.

'_Hi...remind me what time Emma's surgery's due to go ahead?_' he asked, a sense of fear in his voice.

'_No'_

'_I checked the on-call availability if-if you want to step out I can have someone here in twenty minutes'_

'_It really doesn't both you at all does it sounding like a broken record'_

'_Not when the point is worth making, no'_ he insisted

'_Well then let me also let me make my point again and this time with absolute clarity. I do not need to step out so please put a sock in it. Robbie needs me more than Emma, it's as simple as that'_

'_Robbie is not your child. Jac I just think-'_

'_Go and get scrubbed or we'll be here all night' _she didn't need to repeat her instructions twice, the Professor had disappeared no sooner had he arrived. Jac leant against the sink staring at the floor. Her eyes stung with the prickle of small tears.

Just under three hours later she was racing from the very same theatre down to NICU. The healing incision on her abdomen burned with each hurried movement she made, but she ignored it; a sense of adrenaline kicking in. Stumbling through the doors she landed next to Jonny, clutching her stomach. To her relief their daughter still lay in the cot.

'_Dr Solis had an emergency come in so erm they won't be ready for Emma for another twenty minutes'_ he explained. Tentatively Jac crept towards the sedated baby. Pausing for a second before raising her hand Jac let herself place her fingers on the tiny foot. The warmth of the soft skin was of some comfort. Jonny looked on pleased to some sort of progress.

'I'm sorry' the surgeon whispered indirectly _'I'm making this up as I go along and making a terrible mess of it all. But I'll be here when you come out of theatre'_

The moment was broken by Mr Solis making his presence known _'We're ready for Emma now'_

Jonny smiled weakly, his heart racing _'Okay'_

The two of them spent a minute looking at their daughter for what they prayed wouldn't be the last time _'So I-I feel stupid even asking this but-'_coughed Jac before Solis jumped in to save her the heartache of asking.

'_We'll do absolutely everything we can'_ he answered whilst wheeling the cot out with a nurse.

'_We'll be waiting'_ stated Jac; both of them watching their daughter being taken away. They stood there alone for a while, unsure of what to do. Each minute passed far slower than they thought normal.

'_I'll meet you in the relative's room'_ suggested Jonny _'I'll go grab something for us both to eat._' For once his ex partner didn't argue as she left the room, the two of them going in different directions. Jac sat alone on a chair in the colourful room unable to think of anything else but her precious child. She imagined what they would be doing to her; cutting her open; breaking bones and rearranging her organs. Naylor herself had operated on people more times than she cared to remember but she had never been on the other end. She had never been a relative of someone in theatre. Usually Jac was in control.

'_I never think about it when I'm in theatre doing my thing, there's always some poor sap back here waiting'_ she sighed, trying to pass time.

'_Yep'_ Jonny replied whilst eating some chocolate

'_Getting fat on vending machine food and being fussed over by nurses...no offence'_

Jonny nodded and opened his mouth '_She'll be holding her own in there'_ All the time they'd been talking Jac had anxiously been pulling at the ripped fabric on the chair; a sign of the despair she was in. Jonny looked down and took hold of her hand, clasping it tightly to comfort her.

* * *

Hours later Jac and Jonny were again back in the NICU watching over their daughter. Her body was now wrapped in a host of bandages and her arms and legs fitted with more wires and tubes. Jac, as usual, stood further away from the cot than Jonny. The father was l want over, his hand on his legs, cooing the sedated child.

'_Who's a pretty girl then? Who is daddy's beautiful wee girl?' _

'_She's a baby not a parrot'_ stated the mother before sitting on the chair beside the cot.

'_I know. But she's tough as old boots...just like her mum'_ he uttered

'_She's a Naylor, of course she survived the surgery'_ exclaimed Jac, stroking the child's arm.


	6. Chapter 6

There seemed to be progress; at least that's what everybody had hoped. Jac had been by her daughter's side when she needed her mother most. Jonny had watched on with pride as Naylor had kept a bedside vigil over their daughter after her major surgery. The surgeon had looked on with a pretence look of disgust as Maconie had sung words of love to the sedated child.

So when Jonathon had left Jac and Emma alone for a mere half an hour whilst he got a much needed and refreshing shower he was knocked for six to find his ex-partner had made a quick exit. The chair which she had filled laid empty and their daughter all alone.

'_Hey, did Jac say where she was going?'_ enquired the Scotsman to a lone nurse

'_No, sorry'_ was her reply before carrying on checking the young child's stats.

Jonny ran his hand through his dark curly hair in despair. He stepped towards the open cot where Emma lay and held her hand softly. The baby had undergone major surgery just days ago, but she looked better than her father could ever remember in her short life.

'_Where's your mummy then, hey?'_ he whispered, noting her surgery incisions were looking visibly better

'_Ah Jonny!'_ greeted Mr Soli, clattering through the NICU doors _'I have good news for you. You're beautiful baby will be taken off sedation and ventilation in a short while'_

'_Really? Is she ready?_'

'_We won't know until we try. Her stats are encouraging'_ he _explained 'It's good news Jonny, don't look so worried!'_ the neonatal consultant laughed, placing a hand on Maconie's shoulder. Jonny responded with a beaming smile.

_'I have to find Jac!'_ he replied before running out of the unit and down the corridor.

* * *

Her attempt at hiding from Jonny had come to nothing. An hour after leaving he caught up with the red head exiting theatre. The Scotsman was now dressed in his blue Nurse's uniform, ready to start another day at work, another day away from his baby daughter.

'_So you opted to do a decortation rather than be with Emma?'_ he asked angrily, following Jac down the corridor.

'_Our baby is in the NICU with three monitors and five full time staff. What am I supposed to do?'_ she stated, trying to make Jonny look irrational. _'I'm being paid £110,000 a year to do my job, not sit around uselessly at her side!'_

'_Jac! I have no choice; I have to be at work. But you- you could be at her side, talking to her. Or even be at home getting her room ready!'_

'_I've been with her!'_ she stated getting frustrated '_We've bonded, okay? It was awesome! And we'll bond again some more later'_

'_As much as you hate to admit it, your life has changed now-both our lives have changed. We're parents. Stop acting like nothing in your life has changed!'_

'_Well it has'_ replied the Consultant bluntly, pivoting on her heel.

'How exactly?'

'_I'm online shopping on sites I've never used_ before' she insisted before turning and signalling to two delivery men to enter her office. Jonny looked on confused before charging after her. Around the corner in the Darwin Naylor stood signing a clipboard as she ushered the men out. Jonny slammed the door after them and sat on the sofa, staring at the abundance of boxes surrounding the pair of them.

After a stunned silence from the nurse he blurted out his anger _'So you just went and bought...everything?'_

'_Days of the week bibs, steriliser, car seat and a baby monitor so sensitive I'll be able to hear her hair grow'_ she announced, looking rather pleased with herself.

'_And you didn't think-it just never occurred to you that this might be something nice for us to do together?'_ Jonny had spent months imagining the moments he would spend getting his daughter's belongings ready, and all that had been snatched away by Naylor.

'_I thought you wanted me to bond?'_ Jac retorted

'_I do but she's my daughter as well! Surely it would have nice for us to buy her things together, as her parents!'_

'_I bought you a present'_ she grinned pulling out a baby carrier and throwing it at the curly haired male _'In bland, to match your girlfriend'_

'_Rude'_

* * *

'_Given her progress and ability to breathe alone'_ Whispered Solis _'I think now would be a good time for you to hold your daughter'_

'_Really?!'_ exclaimed Jonny exciting Jonny. Jac stood beside him with the opposite facial reaction

'_Yes'_ smiled the baby's consultant _'So if you sit down Jac I'll pass her to you'_ he instructed, gently lifting the baby out of her cot

'_You go first, Jonny'_ she grunted

'_No, she's your wee girl. You gave birth to her Jac. You hold her first'_ he offered, resisting the temptation to cradle the girl as soon as he could. The fierce woman sprinted out of the room, unable to take the pressure anymore.

'_Sorry. She's-she's not taking this too well'_

'The only thing that matters here is your daughter' replied to older male, gently passing the baby over to her father who sat in the chair.

As the small infant was placed in her father's arms for the first time, Jonny instantly realised what love really was. The warmth against his chest made his heart flutter with excitement. She wriggled, nestling into her dad more, and stretching her arms out.

'_She's so tiny'_ he muttered as she let out a little murmur _'Hello-hello. Yes- isn't this fun'_ trying to comfort the child. Stood next to him, Mr Solis looked on happily; yet another potential happy ending. Inside his head his brain whirled tirelessly to concoct a plan to get Jac to bond with her daughter.

'_Why don't you bring that nice girlfriend of yours to see her? What's her name? Bonnie?'_ proposed Jeremy, putting his plan into action.

'_Yeah Bonnie, she'd love that' _

An hour later and that's exactly what the proud dad did. Instinctively Wallis placed herself in the chair whilst Jonny stood besides her cooing over Emma. _'She's so beautiful Jonny. Even more so without all the wires'_

'_Isn't she just? She's so light Bonnie. I've had guinea pigs bigger than her' _

'_Why don't you have a hold, Bonnie?' _asked Mr Solis, lifting the baby again without waiting for a response and passing her gently over. Somehow he knew that any moment, after a cooling down period, Jac would barge through those doors and see what she was missing.

And she did. Just as Bonnie got comfortable holding Emma, the Consultant slammed through the doors ready to finally hold her daughter. Instead she was hit by the sight of Wallis cradling her. Oblivious to the problems she was causing the Nurse spoke to Jac calmingly_ 'Oh Jac, she's so beautiful'_

'_Do you wanna hold her?'_ asked Jonny, as if he had to give Jac permission to hold their baby.

'_I think that's enough, don't want to tire Emma out'_ interrupted Solis, taking the baby back. He knew you had to be cruel to be kind. Jac stood to the side, the fury building inside her, as the other two left and then she followed Mr Solis out, he knew what was coming next; and rightly so.

'_How dare you let her hold my baby before I've had chance to-' _she growled as she was interrupted

'_I offered, you didn't want to'_ was his blunt reply

'_I wasn't...'_

'_Ready? Yep. Jonny was. Bonnie was. Most important of all Emma certainly was'_

'_I'm her mother'_

'_Who chose to be the busy Consultant rather than hold her own baby'_

'_Has it ever occurred to you that I might find the first time... difficult'_

'_Difficult? Yeah. It's not my concern. What goes on inside your head, it's not my remit. I can't make any difference. I have to put Emma first. I have been in neonatal ITU for sixteen years. It's the most singly depressing and uplifting unit in any hospital. Do you know how many babies I've watched die?'_

'_What's this? Mine's bigger than yours?'_

'_One thousand three hundred and thirty four'_

'_You count'_ the significance of such a number hit the surgeon like a train. Right then and there she realised her daughter hadn't added to that number. What was she playing at?

'_I count every single one. In here we measure lives in minutes. Every single one of those mothers would rip her own heart out for a chance to hold her baby' _the male knew Ms Naylor would understand his words, for she too was a surgeon; a highly skilled one. He knew that although she didn't show it, every patient she lost spurred her on to be a better surgeon.

* * *

It was obvious to everybody who cared about her that she was struggling. Who could blame her? Their daughter had been diagnosed with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia at twenty weeks pregnant. She had subsequently been delivered by an emergency caesarean and her mother, the most talented surgeon in the building, couldn't do a thing to help her.

Naylor didn't have many worries in her life, but her biggest worry was that she would follow her mother's footsteps and fail Emma. Quietly she edged herself into NICU and stood beside her daughter's cot; the baby resting. After several minute Mr Solis broke the silence and looked up from his paperwork. '_You can talk to her, you know?'_

'Yeah. She's gonna hang on my every word' the sarcasm mechanism kicking in.

'_She knows your voice better than anyone. She's heard it every day.'_ He reiterated for what felt like the hundredth time _'Don't you think that might be comforting now?'_

He was right, and the surgeon knew it. Clearing her throat Jac spoke briskly _'Hello. Hello Emma I'm your'_ before stopping, unable to admit she was a mother _'I wanna hold her'_ she insisted, taking the plunge.

'_Sorry?' _he questioned, aware his plan had worked.

'_I wanna hold her'_ she repeated

'_Now's not a good time. She's just come off an O2 top up and a small feed. If you come back in, I dunno, err-'_ Jeremy continued to be hard on the mother, making her even more aware just how desperately she wanted to hold her daughter. He knew Naylor wasn't used to be declined anything.

'_No, I want to hold her now'_

'_I'm so sorry Jac. In terms of her care cycle this wouldn't be an appropriate time' _Lying through his teeth, Solis pushed it as far as he could.

'_Let me hold my baby'_ progress, at last; notable progress.

* * *

At the sight of Jac cradling their newborn daughter made Jonny go weak at the knees. Mr Solis had paged him discretely, knowing he wouldn't want to miss the moment Jac held their baby for the first time. In her mind, Jac was still unsure about the move but she felt ready to make such a big move. Solis backed away after placing the child in her mother's arm, leaving them to enjoy the moment together.

The smile that crept across Naylor's face was completely natural, one of pure happiness.

'You were right, she's so tiny' whispered Jac to Jonny who was crouched on the floor besides them. 'And so light' At the sound of her mother's voice Emma wriggled her arms around, stretching her legs out and snuggling into her mum's warmth. Like most new parents, Jac took a deep inhale of her daughter's smell.

'_Now, what d'ya think she smells of?'_ asked Jonny beaming before the pair replied in unison '_Toast.' _Trying not to disturb the baby he stood up gently and took out his phone, standing in front of the pair. _'Smile Jac'_ he instructed, taking Jac's first photo of a mother, their daughter a natural in front of the camera.


	7. Chapter 7

To everyone's relief Emma had stayed off ventilation and sedation. Jonny, the obvious proud father had spent all his free time cooing over the tiny baby who was starting to recognise his voice. She still lay in the same cot since her birth, in the exact same room.

The news had got around the hospital fairly fast, much to Jac's dismay and she had been inundated with texts and phone calls congratulating them on Emma's progress. Being the soft giant he is, and desperate to see his so-called niece Sacha sneaked down to visit the tiny tot during a free half an hour. He'd found Jac dozing in the arm chair cradling a sleeping Emma. If she had have been anyone else he would have a taken a picture but on this occasion it would have been completely inappropriate. Instead he bent down besides her and peered at the baby.

'_Jac...Jac, it's Sacha'_ he whispered, trying not to startle the pair of them. Slowly the red-haired stirred _'Sorry, I thought I'd just come and see how she's getting on...little Emma here...she's beautiful'_

The woman soon came to her senses and sat up straight in the chair _'Trust you get all doe-eyed over a baby'_

'_Don't tell me she doesn't make your heart melt as well!'_ he laughed, standing up, following Jac as she did too.

'_She's allowed to, I am her mother'_ retorted Naylor

'_It suits you, y'know? Being a mum it suits you Jac'_

'_Shut up Levy!' _she replied, the obvious connection between the two reforming _'And take her. I'm meant to be back on Darwin in five minutes'_ The mother gently placed the baby into the males oversized arms.

'_Are you sure you trust me with her?'_ he asked, a smile creeping across his face as he settled into the chair _'Who knows, I might convert her into a comedy act by the time you come back!'_

'_Don't go filling her head with rubbish!'_ called Jac behind her as she walked off.

'_I wouldn't do such a thing, would I?'_ he lowered his voice as he spoke to the innocent form that lay in his _arms 'Your mummy, she's the best. Y'know, you're the luckiest girl alive to have such dedicated parents. And whatever anybody decides to tell you, your mum loves you more than you will ever know' _Emma wriggled in his arms, letting out a peaceful whimper _'Don't tell Daniel but I'm going to spoil you rotten. Yes, I am. And you best not tell mummy or daddy either. It'll just be Uncle Sacha's and Emma's secret-how's that sound? _The grey-haired middle aged man sat with Emma for longer than he had planned, talking words of incoherent meaning.

Elliot had taken over Sacha's position in NICU, unplanned of course. He had been trekking down for coffee when an urge to see his granddaughter had come over him. He'd been a little taken aback when he had stumbled across Dr Levy. For a split second he had contemplated turning away and heading for the much needed coffee, but Sacha spotted him.

'_Professor Hope!'_ His cheery voice called out _'I'm glad someone's come to tear me away'_

'_Ah well-'_

'_I should have been back on AAU half an hour ago. But this little monkey kept me talking'_ Sacha, placed the girl in the older man's arms, kissed her head and longingly left. Elliot felt a little out his depth, having been several decades since he last held a baby.

'_Ah well ermm'_ muttered the professor, easing his creaky overweight body into the chair _'We'll just sit here then?' S_urely enough though he eased into the position of holding the tiny infant, his giant hands making her look even smaller._ 'Now, I don't know what your Uncle Sacha's being telling you but I'm more than sure he was right. I'm going to make you a promise, although of course you won't remember. Your mum, she's a career woman through and through; one of the best surgeons to grace my career. But I of all people should know how fast you children grow up; before she knows it you'll be eighteen and she'll be wondering where all the years went. So, I promise you that I will ensure she enjoys every moment possible with you.' _He rocked Emma gently as she fell back to sleep, yet he continued to talk _'Although, I'm sure your daddy will help with that task. You see there's a whole team of us behind your mum, and you. All you need to know though is that she loves you, very much'_

As his bleeper went off Elliot hurriedly put the child back into her cot and kissed her head, just like Sacha had _'And remember, Grandad loves you so much'_ Then he sprinted off, his heart barely able to take any amount of running. Only then did the child let out her first proper cry; the sense of being alone seemed to daunt her.


End file.
